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How Three Cows Helped Me Get Over My Divorce

When I realized I’d be leaving Southeast Asia and flying home to the family farm in Oregon, I was happy to be leaving — but knew it would be hard.

I needed to go home, but farewell to glamor. Farewell to exotic Southeast Asia. Farewell to a lifestyle of opportunities, lights, action, and camera.

In fact, during my last few months in Cambodia, I was an extra in a Matt Dillon film.

When I flew home at forty-one, I had a broken heart and went from a big frog in a small pool — as a publisher and marketing person — to a country bumpkin sleeping in a guest bedroom at her parents’ farm.

It was about as humiliating as it could be. I can’t say I hated it, but it was hard.

I shared a bedroom with stacks of old magazines, ragtag furniture crammed in, and a mannequin named FiFi. I was squeezed into an empty corner, like an old photo album with gloomy memories.

I missed my ex terribly, although he and I communicated nearly daily.

I’m not sure that was great for getting over him, as it kept me a bit too connected — but we were both struggling. Even though our marriage had collapsed, being apart was like living in an alien universe.

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